Lending a Helping Hand

Since 1913 the Family Service Center has been "lending a helping hand" to individuals and families on the North Shore. Many of the pressures that families are faced with have changed dramatically over this time, but the reasons for which people seek help have changed little: conflict or emotional distance in marriage, concern about a child's behavior or emotional well-being, adjustment to a death in the family, alcohol and drug abuse, and emotional problems such as depression and overwhelming anxiety. The difficulties may be shorter term In nature, resulting from an overload of recent stressors or they may represent long-term problems, which result from a wide range of factors.

At the Family Service Center the "lending a helping hand'" has also changed significantly over the years. The concerns individuals and families seek help for are viewed by the Family Service Center professional staff not only as problems which individuals have the ability to resolve, but as opportunities to actually make gains for themselves and their families.

There is a significant difference in outcome when "the helping hand" is directed toward the inherent strengths of an individual or family rather than the presumed weaknesses, which can be so apparent during stressful times. The widespread focus on the "dysfunctional family" and on "diagnosing" individuals can often undermine their resourcefulness and distort their view of themselves and their families.

During both short-and long-term emotionally difficult times, individuals are more likely to narrow their perspective and to focus on their deficits or on those of other family members. A women recently described this to me when she said:

"You know when I look back now at that period several years ago when our kids were little, when my father died, and when our finances were so tight, I can see why I was so overwhelmed. I felt totally inadequate and blamed my husband for being so unavailable. Now I can more clearly see how stressed out we both were: how we both were struggling to do our best"

Lending a helping hand can be useful when it can assist individuals in clearly defining their present concerns, in stepping back to get a clearer, more objective view of their life situation, and in developing a plan to move forward in the face of what had seemed to be impassable roadblocks.

The professional staff at Family Service Center are committed to this effort. There is no promise of a quick fix, of having the answers to complex problems. But the Family Service Center does represent a resource for those who find themselves bogged down or blocked in their efforts to attain a "life worth living." It offers a "helping hand" to individuals and their families in their efforts to navigate through life's turbulent periods. Above all it is a resource to assist the resourcefulness of others.